Thursday, December 2, 2010


There really is no good explanation about how this particular week got out of hand. Sure we traveled on Friday and Saturday, but it really seemed like no biggie when we are able to get the tree up Sunday and rearrange all the furniture in the living room (to you know, actually fit the tree in, in a pleasing way). Tangent: I love putting up the tree because of the cleaning under all the furniture part...and of course the pretty lights.

Anyway, so there really seemed to be no reason for everything to go out of control. The house was clean for the coming week.

So if you were able to reach your eyeballs through your computer screen and see me, you might be wondering how I came to be sitting in my living room with laundry hanging out of two baskets piled on the rocker, toys and veritable junk littering the floor, dishes and food all over the dining room peaking at me from around the corner,and me sitting snacking on a dried up crust of bread with my hair disheveled in a sideways floppy bun from several days without combing it, I'm hoping that my reality show TV crew shows up soon. I hid when our produce guy came to deliver our box this week.

That isn't particularly surprising I suppose, but it is surprising to me after feeling as though I have positively slaved away to keep things running around here. Okay, so maybe not slaved, but definitely worked hard...okay, I liked my first word choice better. Whatever! I am bedraggled. Not quite as bedraggled as Papajama looked when he arrived home from school on Tuesday with the flu, but I am bedraggled...tanked up on vitamin C and probiotics? Absolutely, but bedraggled nonetheless. I honestly don't know how anyone who single parents or has a frequently traveling spouse does it. 2.5 days of this stuff and I'm done.

Phoenix seems to be her cheerful self, although she is showing signs of being cooped up in the house for several days straight. Zephyr seems to have caught a mild case of it though. She ran a fever last night, and I'm hoping that we're going to escape dry heaves with her...that's what Papajama has been battling. In the 4.5 years we've been married, I've never known him to go an entire day without eating. But yesterday he ate nothing and today he ate an apple, and a miniscule amount of rice, green beans, and tofu that I made for dinner.

So now here we are, I'm the last person up tonight, and I'm bushed. But, I really don't want to go to bed. It sounds far from relaxing. Both girls are in our bed this evening, and I know as soon as I lay down, Zephyr will want to nurse. Phoenix will want back scratches. And to tell the truth, Mama needs a little personal space. Three days of being pulled, and snotted on, and taking food orders...and to top it off Zephyr isn't sleeping well, and she's waking me up every half hour. It's much less than a relaxing proposition for the evening...And so I'm up...but who knows how much longer that will last....

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Adventures in Homeschooling

This year we're trying to do some homeschooling lessons with Phoenix. She is just ready. She knows nearly all her letters and asks all kinds of questions...her favorite one is "why", and I promise it never gets on my nerves when it's in response to a request for a change in behavior. Nope. I never hear myself lecturing "that sometimes you just have to do what your parents tell you to right away. And I'm happy to talk about why you have to do things most of the time, but quick obedience is necessary sometimes." And I'm sure no one can hear me saying that through gritted teeth or anything. Anyway, the point is that she needs some extra input so we're starting with the calendar and learning about counting and writing numbers...etc. So far it's really fun, even if the three year old attention span is a little short.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

"My Dada Calls Me Monkey"

Ssshhhh! Don't tell our big girl, but I'm making up a new nickname for her.

She's Phoenix. She is, of course, our fiery fiesty girl. Or as the dentist put it...she has an independent streak (this followed him me and two dental assistants trying to get her into the chair). Hmmm, yes, independent.

But then of course, she's complex. She's cerebral, curious, and it's as if she burns herself up and emerges cool and calm and ready for the next challenge, just as a Phoenix would. I've never met anyone else who can go from a tearing rage to completely calm in less than five seconds...and yet, I gave birth to her. She exists; and she's amazing.

But don't tell her I'm calling her Phoenix. She would only correct you and tell you that her Dada calls her monkey. Apparently she only has room for one nickname, and that's ALL.

Our little one on the other hand has a new nickname too, and she's not correcting anyone (yet) so you can feel free to let her know. She is our little Zephyr. It's as if she rode into our lives on a warm breeze (I imagine that breeze was caused by laughter, but you can picture it however you want). She's such a happy baby. She's the one that smiled at three weeks old, and kept all of her smiles just for me in those early days. She possesses mystery complete with her wispy blonde hair with brunette tips and the eyes of a sage. Don't let that sweetness fool you though. She's shrewd, and her every grunt is full of calculated meaning. It's in the eyes, and the regal hand gestures too I suppose. She points the way that I imagine royalty would.

Together they are quite a pair. Phoenix is nearly constant motion. She needs action and adventure and mental stimulation. Zephyr decides on a move and then goes. She keeps watch over all of the happenings, and then gets involved in what interests her. Together they are either laughing or yelling together. They mesh together well, or clash horribly. There's no tidy metaphor to wrap the sibling relationship in, so I'll just leave it as it is. Phoenix and Zephyr, Zephyr and Phoenix. The girls.

Oh and by the way, Phoenix would correct me if she heard me call her little sister Zephyr, too. Her Dada calls the baby koala bear.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

hello old friend

I'm absolutely itching to write. The feeling can no longer be contained, and so here I am. Writing when I can't seem to get this self expression out any other way. Before I give a big life update, I should let you see the absolute adorableness that has been distracting me from even semi-regular postings.

I know. I can't stand the cuteness either. I'm toying with a couple of different bloggy nicknames for her. Version 2.0 really doesn't cut it for such a little individual. And while we're at it, babyjama isn't cutting it for our big girl who just turned three (I know, it's unfathomable). I'll attach a photo as soon as I can get her to sit still enough for an unblurry shot. I'm sure you know how it is.

We're enjoying summer vacation at the moment. Although Papajama and I are resting much less than we normally do. We're taking shifts this summer. He works mornings, and I work afternoons. It's quite a bit less productive than it sounds (at least on my end) I tend to clean out my email inbox more than anything. Although, my dear husband has always been more task oriented than me, and so it should be no wonder that he usually arrives downstairs from working with his to do list completed. Oh well. Luckily, Jack Donaghy was wrong when he said "Marriage is a competition." (for those of you who watch significantly less television than myself, that was a 30 Rock reference), otherwise I'd be losing.

Anyhow, Papajama is looking for career expansion...movement? Whatever. I'm working with my dad to organize meditation courses and seminars for him to teach. It's fun, but slow going...who knew I was into instant gratification?

Anyhow, I just wanted to put this all out there, and say hello.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

She's here....

Our newest family member arrived yesterday. She was born at 43 weeks 3
days gestation and tipped the scales at 9 pounds exactly. We had our
homebirth as planned, but I'll say right now that the process of
giving life to another through natural birth was beyond any of my

This is a photo of our girls encountering each other for the first
time. Enjoy, and please feel free to bask in the after glow with me. I
can't stop smiling.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


My lovely midwife tells me I need a new vocab. Because my baby is not
15 days overdue it's on's just on it's own schedule.
Nevertheless I'm as teary, uncomfortable, and grumpy as one would
expect at 42 weeks gestation. Thanks for the well wishes. Will update
when I actually have this kid.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Week Counting

I can't think of any other stage in my life where I have used weeks to mark the passage of time. It strikes me as a little odd that pregnancy is that way though. At the beginning it feels like 40 weeks is the longest time ever. I mean EVER. It feels like it will never get here, so just don't think about it or dwell on how long you will be a bloated porpoise or how long it will take for you to blow up to bloated porpoise size. For the record, I haven't ever seen a bloated porpoise, or any porpoise for that matter, but it sounds round and bulbous, and that's how I feel, so there.

I'm a little hesitant to post this, because I don't want to give it any more of my if that will somehow make it more true, or more likely to remain true, but I'm a big mouth...At our last midwife appointment, our baby was breech. For most moms this is absolutely no big deal. Afterall, I was only 32 weeks preggo at the time (now I'm 32.5). Right after our midwife determined the position, baby flipped transverse (sideways for those not familiar with the lingo) which is a good sign meaning that there is still plenty of room for the head to wedge itself down into my pelvis.

It's early, and at the appointment and all throughout the rest of the day I was fine. I didn't worry about it, but then all of the memories of being powerless to do anything to stop my inevitable c-section last time came rushing back. I bawled that night. I worried that I was selfish to seek the birth that I want, that I might not be strong enough to do the birth thin, that I might not be worthy, ya know, your usual run of the mill gammet of self pity and loathing.

I woke up and was fine in the morning and ever since. I'm working on focusing what is within my power, trusting my body and the birth process, and just relaxing a adding in some chiropractic appointments for good measure.

I go back to the midwife next week (at 33.5 weeks if you're counting), and hopefully I'll have some great news to share!!