The Gigantic Cavernous Space Between

Phew, the debate rages on. I have to admit that when I first decided to write about Sarah Palin, I never expected it to turn into a huge debate like this. It kinda makes my stomach hurt in all honesty. I get all tied up in knots and impassioned as I read comments and other blogs. Our country is so obviously divided with seemingly little common ground. The whole thing makes me sad and makes me feel very very small and insignificant. Yet, here I am again today posting on these issues that, I feel, need hashing out.

Yesterday and anonymous commenter asked me point blank how I would fix our broken systems. This is partially what got me all tied in knots. I see problems. Real problems. However, I don't even hope to be able to come up with all of the solutions to domestic policy problems on my blog. I do have some specific ideas though, and beyond that, a common theme that I think would help solve some of these problems.

The school system is an especially easy subject for me to speak on because I've witnessed so much of what is wrong about it. The school system was by no means perfect when I went through myself, but it has taken a major turn for the worse. One thing that No Child Left Behind focuses on is the problem of passing children along to the next grade before they have learned what this grade offers. The institution of the testing regulations in order to receive federal funding has not solved this problem, and it has not improved the learning that students are receiving. Instead, schools and school districts are trying to wrap themselves around the tests, focusing on them, hammering on them, squeezing them to try to get a little much needed funding out.

Also yesterday, Karin mentioned that she agreed with me that public schools for the most part aren't doing their job, and that she put much of the blame on the schools themselves and the parents. I'll agree that some responsibility falls with the schools and parents, but there's also a problem with the one-size-fits-all education that NCLB puts forth. The tests are not good measures of what the kids know. The schools then tailor teaching more and more toward the test. The kids find no spark in learning. It's a vicious cycle, and I think a large part of the problem stems from NCLB being a huge band aid that didn't deal with the root cause of the problem.

In the case of education, there are many root causes that need to be dealt with one by one. One example, is the problem of students not being sparked to learn in the classroom. There are a number of solutions to this problem including using different teaching methods (Montessori would be a great start), transitioning from a traditional classroom setting to one that would be more conducive to different learning styles, allowing more creativity from students, and getting parents more involved in the learning process. I don't think that there is necessarily one solution to the problem. However, I don't think that the problems in the schools can be fixed with legislation alone, because I don't see this as a problem of legislation. Sure, the NCLB act is flawed...I'll make no excuses to cover that up, but any legislation that was put in place to fix everything would be flawed.

I was talking to my dad today and he was sharing some insights that he had gained from his philosophy class this week. I'm not even going to try to quote him, but he was saying that they recently were studying the work of a certain Buddhist. This man gave a rather succinct description of karma. And here is my clunky paraphrase.

Karma is not a system of punishment and rewards that is rained down by God who is judging every move we make. Instead, Karma is a system of laws that is stable and unchanging. Therefore, if x happens then y will happen. If x doesn't happen then y will not happen. If x happens then y will fail to happen. If x fails to happen then y will happen. At this point I feel like I should be solving a theorem from geometry and say...Therefore, since x and y are parallel, the angle of intersection with z must be 33 degrees. But I digress. There were a few other versions of the formula that I'm not remembering at the moment. I promise I'm not throwing in philosophical mumbo-jumbo for no good reason. I see a real connection here, so stick with me.

In order to truly fix what ails our society (including the schools) it's important to be able to figure out those relationships of causation between the choices that we (as a society and as individuals) make and choose our path from there. My dad's epiphany was that once we clearly view a relationship of causation and see the path that one must take, that taking that path is an act of compassion.

The only way that I know to find the relationship of causation is through meditation. There are lots of ways, but all of them include pure and honest introspection. It's not easy for any of us to look inside see how our actions are affecting the world around us. My larger point in the last post was that without knowing it, many of us are taking stances that are causing suffering to others. True charity asks nothing in return. As a society we tend to forget that the innocent babe of today is the 4th grader of tomorrow and the unwed welfare mother of the future. Punishing someone for not being what our society considers to be a hard worker is punishing them for becoming who our society has turned them into.

Whether we want to admit it or not, a failure of one person in the world is a failure of all of us.

Is Being Against Welfare Racist?

I spurred quite a little flurry of activity with my political posts last week. I'll wait while you go get up to speed.

Wow, a really wide range of opinions there. I think it's necessary to mention that I do know pipsylou personally, and can't imagine her voting based on race. Nope, not in a million years.

I do however think that the issue of race is very linked with the issue of welfare. Proportionally speaking, blacks followed by hispanics have the highest percentage of their populations below the poverty line. I just did some research and that number was at nearly a quarter for blacks in 2005, and about 21% for hispanics while for whites it was around 8%.

Another interesting thing about those numbers is that the study said that the poverty level for the minorities remained the same during 2004-2005, but decreased for whites.

I don't think that a lot of white Americans realize that a vote against welfare is disproportionately affecting those communities.

Recently, papajama and I have been watching a show called "The Wire". It's an HBO series about crime in the city of Baltimore. One of the seasons focuses on a group of friends in middle school. I know that the show is fiction, but I can see the scenarios that played out happening to anyone in that situation. I had never REALLY understood how the inner city can trap kids.

Absolutely the system is broken. Our school programs don't work, our social services programs don't work, our health care system doesn't work. However, I think that the republican agenda (vouchers, cutting welfare, getting rid of medicaid, etc.) will disproportionately hurt minorities, and will hurt the country as a whole. I think it's fair to be distrustful of government (there is absolutely a ton of corruption there), but I distrust private industry that is propped up by government even more. For example, the insurance companies receive premiums from customers, tax breaks from the gov, plus other incentives/loopholes/whatever to make them the beasts that they are today. They are for profit, so they're always looking at the bottom line. I don't think that it's possible to achieve system wide health care that way, and I do think that every person has a right to that.

So is being against welfare racist? Gosh, papajama and I were having a discussion about this a few days ago, and he says that its socio-economic-status-ism...but unintentionally so. I think that some people are against welfare because they are racist, but I think that more than that it's a problem of not being able to see yourself in another's shoes. I think that many of us can't imagine what our lives would be like if the only meal that we ate during the day was a school lunch. How different our lives would be if we didn't have a stable home environment complete with electricity and a quiet place to study. How difficult verging on impossible it is if you have parents addicted to drugs, alcohol, etc.

Yesterday I got in the car, and a reporter on NPR was interviewing a man who said that he had never voted for a democrat and probably never would. He was saying that everyone in America has the same opportunities as everyone else, and that the government shouldn't have to take care of people. I was shaking my head as I listened. Not because I thought he was wrong (which I do), but because I knew that he actually believed what he was saying. Many people's eyes are closed to the suffering that goes on in our country, and don't understand that the solution isn't as simple as go to school, get a job, and work your way out of it. I guess that's the answer to my question too...It's not as simple as if you vote against welfare, you don't like black people.

Anyone else have thoughts on this?

Itchy Fingers

Happy crafty Tuesday everyone! I'm working on the second sleeve to babyjama's sweater. I can't wait to finish it and move on to the next project. I've had a bad case of not having patience to finish projects for years. That's probably why I still have a friendship bracelet that I never finished making in highschool, a couple of unfinished crosstitch samplers, half finished curtains in the basement, and a 10 inch long afghan from my middle school days. I come by this attribute honestly (you should see my mama's collection of unfinished crafts).

I know I'll be so glad to get this sweater done, and I'll kick myself if I don't do it while it still fits babyjama, but there is part of me that's itching to jump into something else. The chocolate yarn for the pants that I want to make her is calling out to me, the yarn shop hasn't seen my face in a couple of months and I have craft money to burn, and believe it or not our stove could use a good scrub (I know that last one isn't a craft, but pretty much anything will distract me at this point).

I'm trudging along anyway...

I finished the first sleeve and got all of this done on the second this weekend, but sometimes even progress isn't enough to keep me focused on the here and now. There's a cheesy metaphor for life in there somewhere, but how annoying is that?

Dear readers, Thank you all for the comments on my last post. I really appreciated them. I think that's a record number of responses for my little corner of the blogosphere. The discussion that got started was awesome, and I hope that we're able to do it again some time soon. Oh, and in case you haven't read her latest post, Monkey Girl has an important (related) reminder for everyone.

A Gray World: My Response to Anonymous

I'm interrupting crafty Tuesday yet again, due to some flack that I received for my last post. I felt that it was important to respond to my anonymous commenter.

Dear Anonymous Commenter,

I can't think of much that is more upsetting than to call another human being a baby killer. I'm curious as to whether or not you actually think that I woke up one morning and thought "hmmm...today I'll vote for a candidate who will pass legislation that will torture and kill little babies."? I have heard Barrack Obama speak on the issue of abortion, and I do agree with what I have heard. I don't see abortion as a black and white issue. Many young women get pregnant unintentionally, and many of them are unequipped to be parents. The children of these unequipped mothers are very likely to become unequipped (as their own mothers were) at preventing pregnancy and at parenting, and this is a vicious cycle that is perpetuating itself throughout society. There are many reasons why people seek abortions Senator Obama said in the final presidential debate that he voted against the bill that you referred to because it did not allow for exceptions for the mother's health, and that he voted for a bill that did allow for exceptions for the mother's health, and so that was already on the books when this piece of legislation came up for a vote. I'm quite sure that this answer will not satisfy you, but since you brought it up those are my opinions.

In reference to socialism, there are many countries around the world who have socialized medicine. To name a few: France, England, Canada, Norway, etc. None of these countries are promised everything and receive nothing as Russia did. Oh, and just so you know, Russia was a communist nation, not a socialist one. We happen to have socialized police and firefighters. Before our fire fighters were socialized, houses that hadn't paid for services were allowed to burn. Someday I hope that we look back at the way that we used to do medicine for profit and realize how silly that was too. Interestingly enough, I was watching the program This Week (George Stephanopolis' political show) on Sunday and I thought it was interesting that Newt Gingrich pointed out that the nationalization of banks did not happen under a democratic president (as many conservatives feared that it would under Kerry or Gore), but under George W. Bush.

I'm no economist, and don't ever hope to be an expert in that area, however I am a well informed voter. I do know that there is no one that is innocent when it comes to the financial turmoil. Republicans are responsible for deregulation, and both democrats and republicans are responsible for taking large campaign contributions from the large banks. The large banks are responsible for having bad lending practices. The small banks are responsible for having predatory lending practices followed by selling bad loans to the big guys. And everyday Americans are responsible for spending money that they didn't have. Yep, we're all in this one together.

As for your last assertion, that you hope that the world comes to an end soon, wow. You have really illustrated the point that I was (perhaps not so eloquently) trying to make in my last post. There is a divisiveness in our nation and in our world. So many people are set on their point of view to the point that they hope and wish that the world would come to an end before we have to deal with the issues that face us. It seems to me that if we are unable to have a civil discussion with one another, let alone be able to come together to solve some of the world's problems, then you are probably right...it is better that the world end. However, I am willing and happy to do what it takes to talk out our differences and do what is necessary to have a wonderful world for everyone to raise their children in. The way that you worded your comment though, makes me doubt whether you are willing to do that though. I feel sad to think of a world in which all is black or white. Good or evil. Totally right or totally wrong. The more that I dissect issues, the closer that I look at things, the more shades of gray that I see. If you are interested, there are a couple of books written from the Christian perspective that you might enjoy checking out. One is called God's Politics: Why the Right Gets it Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get it by Jim Wallis. The other is Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White: Thoughts on Religion, Morality, and Politics by Adam Hamilton. They are both favorites of my husband.

I welcome open discussion with all.

Sincerely,
A Mother for Change in Missouri

Real America: Letter to Sarah Palin

Dear Governor Palin,

I am writing to you as a concerned citizen of the United States of America. You see, I'm troubled by the tone that your campaign message is taking. Yesterday in North Carolina, you said:

"We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. We believe" -- here the audience interrupted Palin with applause and cheers -- "We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation. This is where we find the kindness and the goodness and the courage of everyday Americans. Those who are running our factories and teaching our kids and growing our food and are fighting our wars for us. Those who are protecting us in uniform. Those who are protecting the virtues of freedom."

Madam Governor, I understand all about pandering to a certain type of voter, and I see that you are doing that here. However, I also think that you have crossed a line that is so obscenely offensive that I cannot sit by without addressing you on this.

I am used to hearing about the average American as someone who is not me. Someone with the values that are grown in a small town. Someone who longs for the old days when the pledge of allegiance was recited every day in school. Someone who shakes their fist at taxes and shakes their head at those horrid welfare mothers.

True, I don't fit into that box, but I take offense to the suggestion that I am somehow less patriotic, less supportive of my country, and not a "real" American for holding convictions that are contrary to yours.

Yesterday my family and I gathered at a rally to welcome Senator Obama to our city and to hear him speak. We had to park blocks and blocks away and in the grass, and then join a line that stretched for blocks in order to wait outside where we wouldn't be able to see the senator speak, but would be able to hear his words and stand with the crowd. As my husband and I crossed the street to join the line waiting to get close enough to hear, we noticed across the street that there were protesters. Some held signs stating obscenities like "God Hates Fags". One of the women ahead of me in line mumbled something about the grace of God and Jesus, and I remarked loud enough for her to hear that I don't think God hates anyone. She turned around and smiled at me and agreed with me saying "God is love", apparently not minding that we obviously belong to different faiths (I happened to be wearing my turban at the time).

We approached the building crowd, and the absolute diversity of the gathering was astounding. There were some who looked like hippies, some who looked like yuppies, black people, white people, hispanic people, asian people, young people, old people. We stood together, united in one thing. We all love this country.

The speech was exhillarating, uplifting, and after hearing your remarks on small towns being the real America, I wasn't surprised when Mr. Obama said that he wanted to bring every kind of American together. When he said this, my spirits soared.

In school, children are taught that America is the great melting pot, and that our diversity is to be cherished. What is a shock to many (like myself) is that these values don't seem to have permiated the adult population.

Ms. Palin, I understand that as human beings we are limited in our world views by our own experiences. Perhaps you have never dealt with issues of diversity during your life, but I'm not going to speculate on what has created your world view. What is obvious to me though, is that you are dismissing the validity of a huge portion of the population.

My husband is a teacher who goes to school every day to teach young children. Some of these children are from homes broken beyond my own comprehension. My husband is a true American. Those children are real Americans. My parents owned their own businesses for years. Later, when my father went to work for other, our family fell on hard times due to the fact that we are not the religion of the majority. My mother stayed at home with us from the time we were small until I left for college. Now my father stays home with my youngest sister and attends college, while my mother works full time. They are real Americans.

I have a passion for this country that I don't think I can express. I am honored to live in a place where I can dissent, protest, and live outside the mainstream. I am free to practice my religion, parent as I see fit, and hold the political views that I believe are right. So, Ms. Palin, I take offense to your comments that you enjoy the "real America" the parts that are "pro-American". Small towns are absolutely part of the patchwork that makes up this country, but the rest of us are no less real because we don't agree with you. Our passion and our vision are no less valid than yours, and I hope to send that message to you loud and clear on November 4th.

May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you, and the pure light within you, guide your way on.
Sincerely,
A Missouri Mother for Change

Stagflation minus the economics

I can't remember what the issue was, but in elementary school, I remember having some problem at school and feeling so overwhelmed that I never wanted to return. Of course that's a common feeling, I know everyone feels like they want to scrap it all and just start over sometimes.

Right now, I'm sure there are some that feel that way about the economy. I'm no economist, but my dad was telling me today that stagflation is pretty much the worst kind of crisis that you can have. It's so spectacularly awful because no one knows what to do about it. It's so complex, especially with the interconnectedness of the global economic system that even the most brilliant market pupeteers aren't sure which strings to pull, or where the cause-effect relationships are anymore.

Our family isn't particularly effected by the economy, but I'm feeling the effects of stagflation in other ways.

1) Emotionally draining relationships.

I have absolutely no idea where the cause-effect relationships are anymore. Days and weeks are passing, and the stock continues to drop. Excitement is turning to panic. It's taking more emotional currency to get the necessities, and growth has seemingly halted.

2) Touchable accomplishments

This marks two weeks that I haven't even touched my crafts. Yarn sits on surfaces waiting to be useful, but time is more costly than ever these days. I'm being pulled in several directions at once (work, volunteering, family obligations...etc.). It all seems to suffer.

I was thinking that I had another point, but I see now that I don't. Happy crafty Tuesday all...Hope yours was more productive than mine.

Round and round it goes

My word, how fast things can change. I've spoken on here a few times about being raised Sikh. I have been rebelling against that for some time now. In college, I nearly broke my parents' hearts when in a move of cowardice cut my hair and then e-mailed them to let them know. I know they've gotten over it now, but it was a major shock to them at the time.

I was the secretive child growing up...sneaky actually. I would hide for an hour behind a door just to get to startle someone coming up from the basement. Sometimes I lied to friends to make stories more interesting, and I often kept secrets from my parents and others. I'm a definite introvert most of the time. I'm social, but cautious of those I don't know well. I'm hardly ever the life of the party.

Growing up Sikh was hard for me. I don't like being the center of attention. If too many eyes are on me at once, I feel like I would like to fold in on myself rather than stand out. It's hard being a Sikh, because the most distinctive thing about being a Sikh is that Sikhs wear turbans, and turbans make people look at you. Did I mention that I don't like people looking at me? The whole purpose of the turban is to be forced to stand out. It's more noticeable that you aren't living up to certain standards if others know from looking at you that you are a person with certain ideals. Am I making any sense?

This week, I've decided against rebellion. I have missed being a Sikh dearly. I often hum the hymns of my childhood as I lay down to go to sleep, or try and think up ways that I can wear a turban without it actually being a turban. Alas, there seems to be no half way about it. Papajama and I have discussed the issue at length. I feel so grateful to have a husband who understands the quest for yourself. It's funny how a few yards of cloth can make such a large difference in one's life, and yet leave it the same in so many respects.

Crafty Tuesday: No Update

Just a quick note to say.... I'm writing to let you all know that on this Tuesday I have no craft updates. In fact, I haven't even touched my knitting this week. Things are crazy around here. Papajama seems to have quite a few meetings after school this week, and I am the chauffeur for those occasions.

Also, my grandma (Mama's Mama...not the other one) is coming into town tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting to visit with her, since I haven't seen her since my wedding. We all can't wait to show babyjama off. Anyway, my hands have been busy doing other things...much less glamorous things than making something new. Today it was mostly the task of folding laundry. I don't know how it can get behind so fast, but it's amazing how little time it takes for everyone to run out of underwear.

So there you have it. Third week into crafty Tuesday and I'm already slacking. Hopefully I'll be able to make up for it soon.

Why I am the grinch...

I just saw my first Christmas commercial of the season today. It disgusts me that Christmas is such a time of scavenging and preying on others to make a profit...I'm pretty sure that's not what the Christmas spirit is all about. But that is not why I dislike the holiday...

I didn't celebrate Christmas as a child. As a Sikh family, we didn't have much room for stories of the nativity, or trees, or Christmas hams. We had/have our own holidays and so Christmas was just a day during winter vacation for us when the grocery stores weren't open and our friends couldn't come to play. But that didn't make me wish that Christmas would never again come...

Ironically, what brought this grinchyness on for me was the one year that we celebrated Christmas when I was a child. When I was 9 or 10 we went to the frozen tundra that is Wisconsin to celebrate Christmas with my father's family. My sisters and I were SOOOO excited. Not only were we going to get to meet our cousins for the first time, but we were going to get presents. Our parents splurged and bought us a few presents, and we even guessed what one of them was (It was Aladdin on video cassette, and man was that super awesome).

We had a fantastic time with our cousins. In fact, in the months afterward we continued to write and call them every chance we got.

No. The problem stemmed from Santa (a.k.a. my grandparents).

Since we were the only grandkids who were in from out of town, all of our cousins opened presents at home from Santa, and then came and opened presents from Santa at grandma and grandpa's house. Plus one present for the whole family from Grandma and Grandpa. On the other hand, we had the presents from our parents, and a present from Grandma and Grandpa. We got no presents from Santa. Now, since we weren't actually Santa believers, our mom had told us that there was actually no such thing (although she forgot to mention that there is actually no tooth fairy either), it was rather obvious that all of the other grandchildren had received actual individual presents from Grandma and Grandpa, and had left us out completely.

It still stings today when I think about it. First off, our grandparents didn't know that we didn't believe in Santa. And I can't think of anything more cruel than allowing your grandchildren to believe that Santa didn't love them...except maybe letting them know that you don't love them.

My dad had told me ever since I was a little girl that Grandma and Grandpa didn't agree with being a Sikh. They didn't like it, and they wouldn't accept it. It was quite another thing to experience first hand the coldness... We never saw our grandparents again after that. Sometime within the next year, my father decided that he was not going to subject his family to that kind of treatment. I still remember that the last thing that my grandmother ever said to our family was that she didn't want us to come by their gas station to say goodbye in the morning "That's the way Dad wants it and that's the way it's going to be." Presumably it would have been an embarassment to them if anyone in their little town found out that their son wears a turban. Their loss I suppose. I wonder if she ever had a moment of doubt as she lay on her deathbed, her cancer, and her pent up anger eating away at her on the inside. I'm sure she was medicated all the way up through the end. No lucid moment to allow in the doubt. The morphine concealing the pain, just the way that the alcohol had for decades before.

I don't miss Christmas. It's never been much of anything to me. But there is a part of me that knows that for me, it will always seem like a weapon rather than a time to rejoice.

We start 'em young

Papajama, in all his wisdom, has printed off a sample ballot for our city, since we are going to have to vote on a lot, and other than the presidential candidates, neither of us knew much about the coming election. Anyway, so we happened to catch a glimpse of little miss doing this...



Seeing as how our tiny daughter is starting to get interested in politics and voting rights, I've also decided that it's time to go ahead and start introducing her to the potty. This is absolutely not formal potty training...I don't know what I even think about that, but she's been interested in the bathroom lately. Also, every once in a while we let her go diaper free for a while to air out and just be naked in general...I figure everyone likes a little nakey time now and again. Anyway, she seems pretty distressed whenever she "leaks"...she usually shrieks and wants me to get her away from that wet stuff. Of course, she's also deathly afraid of the giant ants that we have crawling around our house...but not at all phased by the teeth or bark of our giant dog...or any other giant dog for that matter...But I digress.

So we've been talking all about how mama and daddy go peepee and poopoo in the potty, and she loves getting the toilet paper off of the roll, and even likes to try to flush the toilet. And so, today we started something a little new. I let her sit on the toilet a couple of times. Once before our morning shower, and once before nap time (when I noticed her diaper was still dry). She got a big kick out of the whole thing...I'll let you know if we see any action over the next few days...doubtful...quite doubtful.