Friday, June 26, 2009

Week Counting

I can't think of any other stage in my life where I have used weeks to mark the passage of time. It strikes me as a little odd that pregnancy is that way though. At the beginning it feels like 40 weeks is the longest time ever. I mean EVER. It feels like it will never get here, so just don't think about it or dwell on how long you will be a bloated porpoise or how long it will take for you to blow up to bloated porpoise size. For the record, I haven't ever seen a bloated porpoise, or any porpoise for that matter, but it sounds round and bulbous, and that's how I feel, so there.

I'm a little hesitant to post this, because I don't want to give it any more of my attention...as if that will somehow make it more true, or more likely to remain true, but I'm a big mouth...At our last midwife appointment, our baby was breech. For most moms this is absolutely no big deal. Afterall, I was only 32 weeks preggo at the time (now I'm 32.5). Right after our midwife determined the position, baby flipped transverse (sideways for those not familiar with the lingo) which is a good sign meaning that there is still plenty of room for the head to wedge itself down into my pelvis.

It's early, and at the appointment and all throughout the rest of the day I was fine. I didn't worry about it, but then all of the memories of being powerless to do anything to stop my inevitable c-section last time came rushing back. I bawled that night. I worried that I was selfish to seek the birth that I want, that I might not be strong enough to do the birth thin, that I might not be worthy, ya know, your usual run of the mill gammet of self pity and loathing.

I woke up and was fine in the morning and ever since. I'm working on focusing what is within my power, trusting my body and the birth process, and just relaxing a bit...plus adding in some chiropractic appointments for good measure.

I go back to the midwife next week (at 33.5 weeks if you're counting), and hopefully I'll have some great news to share!!

7 comments:

JNo said...

I hope babyjama2.0 gets headed in the proper direction! You've still got time...I'm sure it'll workout!

Monkey Girl said...

You've still got plenty of time.

It's totally normal (and perfectly ok) to be scared, but don't let it sink in, give it five minutes and then move on. Set a timer if you have too...I did.

My first was a preemie(28 weeks, 2.5 pounds), and naturally I was nervous as hell with my second pregnancy. And about twice a month a had a little 'pity party' for myself. After the second month, I started setting a time limit so I wouldn't let it get out of control.

Just a little advice from one mom to another.

BTW, my second was two weeks late and nearly 9 pounds.

mommapolitico said...

Everything will work out in time, and you still have some time left. Babyjama 2.0 will be heading in the right direction soon (pun intended)! ;) Take care.

JNo said...

Good luck at this week's appointment. Hopefully Babyjama 2.0 has gotten with the program and is head down like he/she is supposed to be. I was always curious when pregnant if when the baby would do contrary stuff if that was a window into the personality to come....

mommapolitico said...

Hang in there, Girl! Good to hear all is well - was wondering what happened to you for a little while! Take care, rest and relax. And sleep if you can...soon, you won't for awhile! :)
Take care, and sending you positive thoughts and good wishes!

JNo said...

Good luck with BabyJama 2.0

JNo said...

Good wishes on with your labor/birth Babyjama 2.0...